Another week and more motivation

And I’m back on the losing bandwagon. Man alive, I’m up and down like a bloody yo-yo! But then that’s what happens on this wonderful thing call the weight loss adventure.

I’ve just returned from a long weekend sailing with my grandparents and I bet you’re all thinking ‘Amazing! You got to be active all weekend so you can’t have screwed it up that badly’ Did you know that after a 5 hour sail, you can easily sit down to a three course dinner and then a number of bottles of wine because you feel you “deserve it”?!? That’s exactly what happened! But I think the balance of being active and eating quite a lot hasn’t been that and I’ve managed to pull it back a little bit.

One thing that happened over the weekend is that I saw my Uncle, who is a very nice bloke but does think he is ALWAYS right. And after a visit to the doctors, they informed him that he needed to lose some serious weight as his weight could lead to heart problems and could mean that he wasn’t allowed to fly planes (he’s a pilot for the RAF) so he got his act together. He’s lost 32 lbs in the past 6 weeks. It’s incredible but it’s also made him very self-righteous.

Now, all weekend, I wanted to put him back in his box but I don’t think he realises how hard it is for me sometimes not to put food into my mouth as my automatic emotional crutch. Sometimes I think boys brains are simply wired completely differently to ours!

I am back and focused on getting there with the weight loss goal. I have a total of 10 days until I’m off to a local festival near me for a week and I want to lose and feel differently before I go.

So….

 

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Bit of a wobble

So in the past week I’ve had a fairly massive wobble on whether or not I would be able to complete this challenge in front of me. My motivation has been all over the shop and I mainly blame that on my wonderful girlie time of the month for sending my hormones into some kind of catastrophic mess.

This is the way I described to some friends:

I feeling like I’m never going to beat this at the moment! I tracked yesterday and went over by 10 points. I look at the weekend and I definitely wasn’t an angel then either. I just feel like the moment I get the motivation and have a week where I either don’t lose or don’t’ feel like I’ve lost then I plummet into this horrible depressed phase for a couple of days and slowly pull myself out of it! I just feel like such a yo-yo at the moment and I’m nowhere closer to losing the weight I need to lose ahead of the wedding now, than I was back in January. It’s literally mortifying.

At the weekend, I seriously considered starting going on the Cambridge Diet. That’s how upset I have been. And going to hot yoga and looking at myself in the mirror has just made me feel bloody dreadful.

It was one of those complete rock bottom moments when I wasn’t sure I could back up again but thanks to a very wonderful group of WW friends; Nichola, Emma, Pauline and Tracy, I definitely wouldn’t be back in the mindset.

What I think the main focus of this blog should be about surrouding yourself with people who really understand the need for your journey when you’re losing weight. I honestly could never do this without the people that sit there and scream ‘YOU CAN DO THIS’ at the moments when I’m at my weakest. If you surround yourself with people that say ‘You don’t need to lose weight, you’re as beautiful as you are’ then they’re not going to stop your creeping into temptation and when you’re sitting at rock bottom, they’ll go ‘Don’t worry hunny, you’ll feel better soon’ instead of the ones that bombard you with meal plans to make sure you stay on track.

For those following Weight Watchers or any other plan, I have to say the Weight Watchers forums are an amazing place to meet like-minded people who are all on the same journey and all want you to suceed.

And for those having a bad day, GET OFF YOUR BACKSIDE AND MAKE IT BETTER! Ha ha – the positivity and motivation from some of my best friends is starting to rub off on me.

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What a week!

All I can do is echo the title of this post – what a week!

Sorry for the delay in updating this but last week was absolutely manic. I got back not work to more work than could have imagined and it didn’t end there. I was out most nights of last week. It was fairly intense I can tell you!

Update for you is that I went to WI and put on 2.5lbs. Just when I thought that I could finally get rid of some of this weight for good, I just put it back on. This is just getting a bit depressing.

Going out a lot last week was not helpful at all and it was mostly work occasions but nevertheless, it meant that I went out of sync after the previous week of being an absolute angel when I was on holiday. Rah!!

And I spent the weekend starting my baking business, and I can safely tell you when you have made 60 cupcakes and iced all of them, it puts you right off anything sweet. Honestly. But it was a great success and I definitely think I may have got some new customers from it 🙂

Now onto my family whom I love dearly but sometimes want to strangle. I went and saw my Grandma yesterday who is very young for a grandma with a 25 year old granddaughter, she’s not even 70 yet! I saw her and she informed me that my Uncle has lost 21 pounds in the past month. 21 lbs!! What is he doing?! She just said “I reckon you should go and talk to him about helping you lose weight” My god, I wanted to strangle her. I am trying but I’m just feeling more and more like a failure at the moment. This week I’m going to track, point and exercise my ass off and let’s see what happens on Saturday!

Wish me luck, I feel I may need it this week.

Day 1 (again)

Morning all,

I am feeling fairly righteous today because not only did I stay on track all day yesterday, I also went out this morning and ran/jogged 3k! Boom!

Honestly, having the time away on holiday has helped get my head back in the game completely and I’m feeling like I can take on the world at the moment.

Let’s keep focused ladies and gents 🙂

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Reflection from holiday

Just got back now from a week in Spain and I have to say, was one of the most needed holidays I’ve had in a while. I have been stressed out by work, stressed out by my house (living with boys can be a bloody nightmare sometimes) and thoroughly stressed out by my weight and the lack of progress I have been making with it.

This week has given me a massive opportunity to really take stock of everything going on in my life and kind of dissect it all without it going on around me if that makes sense? I’m going to break this down into different sections:

Work

I started a new job back in March at an amazing agency and I think the panic I’ve been feeling is that I’m not good enough, but I know that really I am if I actually thought about it. They aren’t trying to get rid of me and they aren’t going to not pass my probation as long as I maintain the standards that I’ve currently set.

What I think has put in a spanner in the works, is me setting up my own little baking business on the side of this. I like to think of myself as quite a talented baker, and I enjoy it more than anything. The feeling of giving others food that warms their hearts and gives them comfort is amazing.

The past week has made me realise that I can do both of them but I just need to prioritise and focus on each task separately rather than tackling them all at one go!! Which is not uncommon with me, most people are used to me running around like a headless chicken.

Home

I live with two boys, both absolutely lovely in their own right but I just think I’m craving girlie time a lot and I think this links in with my weight loss as well. I live with two boys who’s metabolism rates are ridiculous. They can both scoff down an entire Dominos pizza with sides and not put on a single pound. If I did that, I would be half a stone heavier overnight!!

Also, they are both moving out in October and I’m trying to organise new housemates which is never an easy job either.

Weight loss

And here is where it gets quite emotional. I honestly feel a bit like a failure at the moment when it comes to my weight loss.

I started this year with these massive high hopes that by now I would be at least 2 stone lighter and I ended up just putting more weight on at the beginning of the year and now I feel like I haven’t made any real progress. Its just a bit all disheartening.

But going on this holiday has actually helped give me a massive kick up the rear end. I stood there in my swimsuit looking at my body in the mirror and just thought ‘How have I let it get this bad? Why am I staring at myself in the mirror wishing that I could be that 5 stone lighter and feel good about myself? And will it ever happen for me?’

The friend that I was on holiday with is also going through a massive diet push at the moment so it was really easy staying on track but I know in my heart of hearts I wanted more treats. Not that I needed them. What I did notice on holiday, was how little I needed to eat. Maybe it was the heat but I never felt hungry but I lived off a lot of salad, yogurt and water. It’s strange how quickly your body deals with a reduced calorie intake and makes you realise you didn’t need all the stuff you were eating.

I’m now back in the uk and I need to focus and I need to be setting myself some realistic mini goals that I can keep to between now and the wedding and I think that goal is 10lbs a month which would make my loss by Xmas – 40lbs. Sounds a lot. Us I’m going to be proper going for it!

I used the flight home to plan my meals for the week and I have a plan to go the gym, three times this week and on the other days do the shred DVD. I am going to keep you all updated with my progress but my aim is get to my first silver seven new week at WI.

And I think this completely sums up how I’m feeling:

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No Junk Food Challenge

Today I was followed by an amazing 14 year old girl called Alicia, this is her blog, Girls Just Wanna Be Healthy! and she has inspired me. At the young age of 14, she is doing something about her weight, which is something I wished I had done at that age because now, it’s even harder to get the weight off.

She did this challenge called the No Junk Food Challenge which is basically the below:

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There are a few American terms in there but I get the jist and from Monday next week when I’m back from my holiday, I will be following this. Anyone want to do it with me??

On holiday!

Morning all

Sorry I didn’t get a chance to update my blog last week, work went mental and I am now on holiday! Hoorah! And due to going away my life seemed into warp speed as I got everything done before I went. I think that says a lot about why I needed a holiday to be honest.

I have a confession to make: I didn’t go to Fat Club on Saturday. I just didn’t want to go. I hadn’t felt like I had lost weight and basically became a chicken and decided to bury my head in the sand. How stupid do I feel?! But a confession is the first step.

Now, I am on holiday with one of my oldest friends, who just like me has always struggled with her weight loss and I know who is trying to lose weight ahead of starting a new teaching post in September. This is great for me! I am not going to surrounded by lots of temptations and trying to get creamy, carb heavy dinners or anything but I think there is a line. This holiday kinda feels like a detox from my normal life, and I know that is in a way a good thing but at the same time, I want to scream ‘I’m on holiday!!!’ and want a few treats.

I think this week will be a good demonstration for me on how little I actually need to eat to feel full and I’m hoping I learn something from this. I am aiming for a size 12 by christmas and all that!!

One massive positive is that I am getting an amazing tan! What is it about being bronzed that makes you feel so much prettier?

Thought I would share the view that I’m currently enjoying as well. Not to make you jealous or anything…

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Fat Club Result

It is Saturday morning and I went off to Fat Club like I do every week and cautiously stood on those scales….

So I am now into day 3 of Dukan and it does work I have to say as I stepped on and lost 2 pounds!! Great news!

I’m really happy with myself. I have stayed focused and managed to lose weight. And the key is to stay in this mindset and on the same track.

I had one of those situations last night that normally I would falter at and pretty much fail at – the Friday night pub trip. I had decided that I’m not going to drink any alcohol and that’s it. Not even one little G&T that I am normally gasping for on a Friday night. Now trying to explain to my friend that I wasn’t drinking, turned into me telling a slight little white liar… “I’m on antibiotics” just slipped out of my mouth. Then people asked and I just had I had a virus thing the weekend before and just finishing off the course. Why?! Because I didn’t want people looking at me thinking that I had become one if those people….

Keeping these happy thoughts in my mind, I’m spending the weekend doing not an awful lot but going to go and get my backside to the gym tomorrow morning. I would like to be polishing my halo at the WI next weekend.

Fingers crossed!!

Day 1 of Dukan – beginning of 10 day countdown

And I’m off on a much needed holiday next Saturday, 14th July, for a week to Alicante in Spain and it’s going to bliss to just get away from everything for a while. Work has been stressful, losing weight has been stressful, watching my sister go off travelling for 6 months has been stressful and now I’m dealing with sorting out new housemates – RAH! Break time needed.

In preparation for this, I have been desperately trying to lose weight on WW plan but not getting very far because I think in my head ‘everything in moderation’ becomes shortened down to just eat ‘everything’. So instead, I have started the Dukan Diet today for the next 10 days to give me the little boost I need.

If you don’t know about the Dukan Diet, read the principles here. I’m currently in the Attack phase where I live off protein and that’s about it. Joy.

Now, I’ve done this plan in the past and lost just under a stone in 3 weeks. I’m not trying to do that but I need to feel that I will be happy that I tried to look better for my holiday.

The girl that I’m going on holiday with is, as well, very conscious of her weight and actually it will be great going on holiday where we can cook healthy salads, having nice healthy breakfasts etc without the pressure from a massive group of friends goading you into eating the full English option! As it’s just us two in her parent’s villa, it also means we won’t be drinking all the time, which I know is always going to hinder my weight loss.

Today’s menu today has been:

B – skinny iced latte + fat free greek yogurt with sweetner

L – turkey breast slices and chicken mini fillets + HOT skinny latte

I have also drunk a LOT of water! And weirdly I’m not hungry…. I will keep you updated on my progress…

Lunch-time Reading

Sitting here this lunch time eating my healthy-ish lunch (Jacket potato, cheese, chicken and salad – I know I could have done without the cheese!) and I read this headline…

How a desk job can make you fat: Bored office workers gain a stone a year by gorging on unhealthy snacks

Now, I have to agree to a certain extent that sitting at a desk for 9 hours a day isn’t the most conducive environment to be in and it’s even worse when you have to go into a number of meetings with biscuits and also when spare meeting food comes floating past your desk – and it’s not platters of fruit and raw veg – it’s mini pastries, biscuits and shortbread. Killer.

Honestly, I think one of my main issues is also being pressured into eating things I KNOW I shouldn’t because people around me are. God, I work in a place where stick insects have the highest metabolisms and can quite happily munch away on a load of mini pastries and then eat their salad at lunch, go out for cocktails and don’t find time for the gym. SERIOUSLY? Are you joking?! I have to sit here and weigh out my food before the beginning of the day and watch the little miss perfects in the office enjoy whatever they want. It is ever so slightly depressing.

Not only that but it’s my family. Now, I love my family – don’t get me wrong. But they do not help at the best of times. Last night we had a leaving dinner for my sister which consisted of an Indian takeaway and that did not go down well for me. Hello most of a chicken tikka mossalla, half a naan and rice. And poppadums. Grr..

So my little sister left today to go off travelling for 6 months to SE Asia and jealous is an understatement of how I feel because of how BEAUTIFUL she looks in everything she wears. She has this lovely, figure where she has lumps in the right places but she’s not too skinny. So my aim is for her to come back and see me all tiny and it’s another little goal!

New trainers haven’t yet been used but tonight they are getting broken in by a nice 5k interval jog post work and I currently don’t give a monkeys on what the weather is doing.