Another week and more motivation

And I’m back on the losing bandwagon. Man alive, I’m up and down like a bloody yo-yo! But then that’s what happens on this wonderful thing call the weight loss adventure.

I’ve just returned from a long weekend sailing with my grandparents and I bet you’re all thinking ‘Amazing! You got to be active all weekend so you can’t have screwed it up that badly’ Did you know that after a 5 hour sail, you can easily sit down to a three course dinner and then a number of bottles of wine because you feel you “deserve it”?!? That’s exactly what happened! But I think the balance of being active and eating quite a lot hasn’t been that and I’ve managed to pull it back a little bit.

One thing that happened over the weekend is that I saw my Uncle, who is a very nice bloke but does think he is ALWAYS right. And after a visit to the doctors, they informed him that he needed to lose some serious weight as his weight could lead to heart problems and could mean that he wasn’t allowed to fly planes (he’s a pilot for the RAF) so he got his act together. He’s lost 32 lbs in the past 6 weeks. It’s incredible but it’s also made him very self-righteous.

Now, all weekend, I wanted to put him back in his box but I don’t think he realises how hard it is for me sometimes not to put food into my mouth as my automatic emotional crutch. Sometimes I think boys brains are simply wired completely differently to ours!

I am back and focused on getting there with the weight loss goal. I have a total of 10 days until I’m off to a local festival near me for a week and I want to lose and feel differently before I go.

So….

 

Reflection from holiday

Just got back now from a week in Spain and I have to say, was one of the most needed holidays I’ve had in a while. I have been stressed out by work, stressed out by my house (living with boys can be a bloody nightmare sometimes) and thoroughly stressed out by my weight and the lack of progress I have been making with it.

This week has given me a massive opportunity to really take stock of everything going on in my life and kind of dissect it all without it going on around me if that makes sense? I’m going to break this down into different sections:

Work

I started a new job back in March at an amazing agency and I think the panic I’ve been feeling is that I’m not good enough, but I know that really I am if I actually thought about it. They aren’t trying to get rid of me and they aren’t going to not pass my probation as long as I maintain the standards that I’ve currently set.

What I think has put in a spanner in the works, is me setting up my own little baking business on the side of this. I like to think of myself as quite a talented baker, and I enjoy it more than anything. The feeling of giving others food that warms their hearts and gives them comfort is amazing.

The past week has made me realise that I can do both of them but I just need to prioritise and focus on each task separately rather than tackling them all at one go!! Which is not uncommon with me, most people are used to me running around like a headless chicken.

Home

I live with two boys, both absolutely lovely in their own right but I just think I’m craving girlie time a lot and I think this links in with my weight loss as well. I live with two boys who’s metabolism rates are ridiculous. They can both scoff down an entire Dominos pizza with sides and not put on a single pound. If I did that, I would be half a stone heavier overnight!!

Also, they are both moving out in October and I’m trying to organise new housemates which is never an easy job either.

Weight loss

And here is where it gets quite emotional. I honestly feel a bit like a failure at the moment when it comes to my weight loss.

I started this year with these massive high hopes that by now I would be at least 2 stone lighter and I ended up just putting more weight on at the beginning of the year and now I feel like I haven’t made any real progress. Its just a bit all disheartening.

But going on this holiday has actually helped give me a massive kick up the rear end. I stood there in my swimsuit looking at my body in the mirror and just thought ‘How have I let it get this bad? Why am I staring at myself in the mirror wishing that I could be that 5 stone lighter and feel good about myself? And will it ever happen for me?’

The friend that I was on holiday with is also going through a massive diet push at the moment so it was really easy staying on track but I know in my heart of hearts I wanted more treats. Not that I needed them. What I did notice on holiday, was how little I needed to eat. Maybe it was the heat but I never felt hungry but I lived off a lot of salad, yogurt and water. It’s strange how quickly your body deals with a reduced calorie intake and makes you realise you didn’t need all the stuff you were eating.

I’m now back in the uk and I need to focus and I need to be setting myself some realistic mini goals that I can keep to between now and the wedding and I think that goal is 10lbs a month which would make my loss by Xmas – 40lbs. Sounds a lot. Us I’m going to be proper going for it!

I used the flight home to plan my meals for the week and I have a plan to go the gym, three times this week and on the other days do the shred DVD. I am going to keep you all updated with my progress but my aim is get to my first silver seven new week at WI.

And I think this completely sums up how I’m feeling:

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On holiday!

Morning all

Sorry I didn’t get a chance to update my blog last week, work went mental and I am now on holiday! Hoorah! And due to going away my life seemed into warp speed as I got everything done before I went. I think that says a lot about why I needed a holiday to be honest.

I have a confession to make: I didn’t go to Fat Club on Saturday. I just didn’t want to go. I hadn’t felt like I had lost weight and basically became a chicken and decided to bury my head in the sand. How stupid do I feel?! But a confession is the first step.

Now, I am on holiday with one of my oldest friends, who just like me has always struggled with her weight loss and I know who is trying to lose weight ahead of starting a new teaching post in September. This is great for me! I am not going to surrounded by lots of temptations and trying to get creamy, carb heavy dinners or anything but I think there is a line. This holiday kinda feels like a detox from my normal life, and I know that is in a way a good thing but at the same time, I want to scream ‘I’m on holiday!!!’ and want a few treats.

I think this week will be a good demonstration for me on how little I actually need to eat to feel full and I’m hoping I learn something from this. I am aiming for a size 12 by christmas and all that!!

One massive positive is that I am getting an amazing tan! What is it about being bronzed that makes you feel so much prettier?

Thought I would share the view that I’m currently enjoying as well. Not to make you jealous or anything…

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Day 1 of Dukan – beginning of 10 day countdown

And I’m off on a much needed holiday next Saturday, 14th July, for a week to Alicante in Spain and it’s going to bliss to just get away from everything for a while. Work has been stressful, losing weight has been stressful, watching my sister go off travelling for 6 months has been stressful and now I’m dealing with sorting out new housemates – RAH! Break time needed.

In preparation for this, I have been desperately trying to lose weight on WW plan but not getting very far because I think in my head ‘everything in moderation’ becomes shortened down to just eat ‘everything’. So instead, I have started the Dukan Diet today for the next 10 days to give me the little boost I need.

If you don’t know about the Dukan Diet, read the principles here. I’m currently in the Attack phase where I live off protein and that’s about it. Joy.

Now, I’ve done this plan in the past and lost just under a stone in 3 weeks. I’m not trying to do that but I need to feel that I will be happy that I tried to look better for my holiday.

The girl that I’m going on holiday with is, as well, very conscious of her weight and actually it will be great going on holiday where we can cook healthy salads, having nice healthy breakfasts etc without the pressure from a massive group of friends goading you into eating the full English option! As it’s just us two in her parent’s villa, it also means we won’t be drinking all the time, which I know is always going to hinder my weight loss.

Today’s menu today has been:

B – skinny iced latte + fat free greek yogurt with sweetner

L – turkey breast slices and chicken mini fillets + HOT skinny latte

I have also drunk a LOT of water! And weirdly I’m not hungry…. I will keep you updated on my progress…

Lunch-time Reading

Sitting here this lunch time eating my healthy-ish lunch (Jacket potato, cheese, chicken and salad – I know I could have done without the cheese!) and I read this headline…

How a desk job can make you fat: Bored office workers gain a stone a year by gorging on unhealthy snacks

Now, I have to agree to a certain extent that sitting at a desk for 9 hours a day isn’t the most conducive environment to be in and it’s even worse when you have to go into a number of meetings with biscuits and also when spare meeting food comes floating past your desk – and it’s not platters of fruit and raw veg – it’s mini pastries, biscuits and shortbread. Killer.

Honestly, I think one of my main issues is also being pressured into eating things I KNOW I shouldn’t because people around me are. God, I work in a place where stick insects have the highest metabolisms and can quite happily munch away on a load of mini pastries and then eat their salad at lunch, go out for cocktails and don’t find time for the gym. SERIOUSLY? Are you joking?! I have to sit here and weigh out my food before the beginning of the day and watch the little miss perfects in the office enjoy whatever they want. It is ever so slightly depressing.

Not only that but it’s my family. Now, I love my family – don’t get me wrong. But they do not help at the best of times. Last night we had a leaving dinner for my sister which consisted of an Indian takeaway and that did not go down well for me. Hello most of a chicken tikka mossalla, half a naan and rice. And poppadums. Grr..

So my little sister left today to go off travelling for 6 months to SE Asia and jealous is an understatement of how I feel because of how BEAUTIFUL she looks in everything she wears. She has this lovely, figure where she has lumps in the right places but she’s not too skinny. So my aim is for her to come back and see me all tiny and it’s another little goal!

New trainers haven’t yet been used but tonight they are getting broken in by a nice 5k interval jog post work and I currently don’t give a monkeys on what the weather is doing.

Fat Club Result

I haven’t mentioned to yet but I go to Fat Cub aka Weight Watchers. Now, I’ve not had the greatest of weeks due to my little sister tootling off to South East Asia for the next five months so there has been a number of outings to say goodbye and all that = not on plan….

Well, I put on half a pound.

I just wanted to punch myself in the face, cry a little bit and also just wait for someone to scream out ‘WHY ARE YOU SUCH A DISAPPOINTMENT?’

I also had quite an in depth conversation with my friend this morning over coffee before Fat Club and he just kept saying that if I gave up the booze then I wouldn’t overeat. I didn’t want to tell him that he was right. Every time I drink, everything I know I SHOULD do goes right out of the window and I feel that I’m invincible to food and nothing will have any effect. So the drinking needs to go out of the window and welcome to my world as a sober individual until I can get my weight under control.

Does losing weight have to mean you become one of the most boring people on the planet?

Quite good news is that one of those hot yoga places is opening up across the road from my flat in the next month, bring on sweating the fat out of me whilst I attempt to balance in different positions. The things we do eh?!

6 months to go….

Actually it’s 6 months and 2 days if we are going to be precise.

So here’s the situation I seemed to have landed myself in – I woke up on January 2nd this year and realised that this year was the year that I wanted to do something different that meant that I didn’t leave 2012 like a complete failure, well, so far I have been a failure.

Not only that but over the Christmas period my Dad decided to propose to my step mum and that’s that. Hello wedding on December 29th 2012, and I’m a sodding bridesmaid. It would make such a difference if my three sister (biog and step) weren’t all teeny tiny human beings with ridiculously high levels of metabolism. In animal terms, they are all cheetahs and I’m a sloth.

Back in January, I imagined that I would by now be at least 2 stone lighter, I am a total of 2 pounds heavier. So you can see that this plan isn’t going very well, not at all. I have to drag myself out this lull that I seemed to have got myself into and I stupidly thought that starting a blog may get me to focus on the task at hand.

And this is where you lot come in, I’m hoping in time, people will be interested enough in the little task I have at hand and may start following me and see how I’m getting on. Or it am be a case of people sitting there reading this going, this girl is a bit nuts. Well, I’m not fussed which it is really but I decided to do it. I would a regular bollocking as well if I don’t keep updating it.

Tonight when I get home, I’m forcing myself into a horrible pair of shorts, a vest top and I am going to take horrible pictures as well as record my measurements and put them out there. Out there so they are no longer secret and I can’t get pretending that it will magically get better.

Get used to my rumblings as this blog is going to be all about me and this pesky weight which I am desperate to get off!!